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Ayew told he can be fit in two weeks!

Dede-Ayew2Ghana FA chiefs have told Andre Ayew to return home so he can be treated by HERBAL MEDICINE and cut his time on the sidelines to TWO WEEKS!

The club’s record signing – at £20.5million – has a thigh injury which he has been told will keep him out until the end of the year… or November at the earliest.

According to The People, Ghana’s technical director has urged the 26-year-old to return home so he can undergo plant and herbal treatments – insisting they will get Ayew fit in just a fortnight.

And Oti Akenteng said he will press the player’s dad, Ghana legend Abedi Pele, to order his son back.

Akenteng said: “There are a lot of herbal medical doctors, who can use traditional medicine to cure Andre Ayew’s injury in just two weeks.


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About Hugh5outhon1895

Hugh Southon is a lifelong Iron and the founding editor of ClaretandHugh. He is a national newspaper journalist of many years experience and was Bobby Moore's 'ghost' writer during the great man's lifetime. He describes ClaretandHugh as "the Hammers daily newspaper!" Follow on Twitter @hughsouthon

33 comments on “Ayew told he can be fit in two weeks!

  1. Can’t we send the China doll instead so the witch doctor can rub a giant dock leaf over him?

  2. AC ( Bambi) could be cured for life but then he probably does not touch greens,
    If this is true don’t fly anyone there bring them here,
    We could do with half a dozen on the NH
    But then we saw what they did to Sak when he met the witch doctor,

  3. It’s pretty scary when you read it is the Ghana FA blokes saying it.But I guess people have different views,beliefs,ways of doing things all over the world.Cant knock it I suppose but don’t for one minute send him pls Lol.Some witchy person rubbed a lettuce leaf on Sakhos back in Senegal & he has never been the same since.

  4. Six months out with a muscle problem would seem excessive – I’ve heard of cases where the muscle has split or become seperated from the bone and has to be fixed with an operation – no amount of rubbing leaves on can cure that!

    I read that Ayew had never had a muscle injury before so he’s been desperately unlucky – as well as to West Ham – I think it’s called Sod’s Law!

    Oh, and I wish you guys would get your nicknames sorted out – referring to Andy Carroll as both Bambi and China Doll in the same thread is wrong whichever way you look at it!

  5. …and Ghana’s herbal treatments can make pigs fly….

  6. Ayew kidding?
    Yes, in Dede.

  7. On the day we unveil Zaza and face Man City away you have to regurgitate some crappy story from the rag that is the People… seriously??

  8. All these injuries must be doing Slavs head in.Imagine all these problems & then you go home to a pregnant missus asking for bowls of charcoal & tuna because she has a craving going on 😛

  9. Rad Micheal is confused that some people have different names,
    Thank Christ he has never met Jenks he has had 4 names in the last month,
    I see the pundits are starting to question the Payet thing,
    It does seem a bit iffy,that he came on 2 games ago and looked fine and now he is being kept for some thing ?
    Also we are spending money £50 million in 3 weeks,
    Still talk of others coming in,
    I have waited 10 years to see a player of his class and yes we have Lanzini as well but after last year I will be gutted if
    He leaves,
    Just hope if Real get him we get another class player as well

    • Jenks the donkey must be warning up for ride to the bar bubs lol.It ain’t really even crossed my mind much about Payet going.Not through being naive that he couldnt but I dont believe he will.If he does that’s life,i will be well disappointed but sh*t happens 🙂

  10. I think you will find Hugh that Rad was being tongue in cheek about how others elsewhere perceive him & the other users of this site!!!!

  11. Why has Rads comments being taken down & you had a go at him??????.He was frigging sticking up for you Hugh & having a laugh about what others think of us on here.He is one of the guys who have been on here longer than almost anyone always defending you & this site.What a monumental **** up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  12. Well it goes to show one thing.Just how much notice Hugh takes of users,their comments & whether they are regulars or not lol

  13. Lmao Bob.Lesson no1 in how to get a b0llocking & your comments taken down by Hugh
    1) Stick up & defend Hugh
    2) Take the Mickey OUT OF YOURSELF & get told off for doing it
    Nice one Rads,next time call Hugh a w#nker & he will probably pat you on the head & call you a good boy.
    What a load of b0llocks!!!!!!!!!!

  14. hold up, thought I was going mad there (I could be btw), where have the comments gone? The same thing happened on the earlier Zaza thread, it made Bubs look like he was talking to himself as Canchaz comment seemed to go missing???

  15. Lol you are right WHU647580.I think Hugh must have the grumps today.I never saw Canchezs remark but Rad merely replied to Boleyn Boy about the fact he had read nothing about this witch doctor & didn’t read The People because as a Claret & Hugh user he was still working his way through Ladybird books lmao.Hugh seemed to think he was having a dig about the site & the comments went missing.

  16. I havnt been here long but all I have ever read from Canchaz at the start of every sentence is..
    As I said before
    As I have been saying all summer
    This reiterates what I have been saying all along
    Which is what I have been saying for months
    An article that agrees with what I have been saying from the start

    Oh lordy lol

    • Yep it’s been his thing on many sites, I have no idea why, still each to their own and all that! 🙂

  17. **** Canchaz he is a plank but if Hugh has possibly banned Rad he is well out of order!!!!!!
    For what,****ing sticking up for him!!!!!!!

  18. Canchaz has been binned …bored with it. Any1 gets hold of Rads tell him all is ok. It was an error and apologies for it

    • Has he, wow. I only saw his post last night bringing up the loan deal stuff, perhaps there was other posts, don’t know.

  19. Lol I was trying to tell you lads to relax ffs but I couldn’t because I was banned from posting lol.It was obviously only a misunderstanding or cock up.Nothing to scream about.But thanks anyway I guess 🙂
    Cheers Hugh nice one.Not a problem mate.Sorry for all this drama on a Sunday.Im a bit embarrassed actually having all these rabid dogs screaming.
    Now all of you calm yourselves, change your pants a get ready for the match ffs COYI

  20. Welcome back Rad,well at least your mates were standing in your corner for you hehe
    I just can’t describe how disappointed I am Canchaz is banned.
    But as I said earlier this year…..

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