Carroll for Newcastle? Oh PLEASE


andy-carrollThe most unimaginative piece of speculation in the world arose again this morning when a leading tabloid reported that Andy Carroll wants a SHOCK return to Newcastle.

First things first. It’s hardly a shock story as it’s been doing the  rounds almost since the geezer arrived in the east end as Sam Allardyce’s most wanted front player.

And with the former manager’s departure it becomes the easiest story in the world to write given the  bond between the two men and I have little doubt that once Allardyce returns to management he will be after him.

Newcastle, meanwhile, are looking for a new manager and there is no way that a player with such an individualistic style would necessarily fit the bill of whoever gets the St James’ gig.

There’s also another recent injury problem, from which AC has to show he has recovered, to take into account.

As we say, there’s little doubt Allardyce will come knocking for  player who is in his chosen agen, Mark Curtis’ stable, assuming the ex manager finds a club with sufficient funds to afford the fee.

A Kevin Nolan departure is far more likely than Carroll at this stage and the club have made it clear they are ready to listen to interested clubs.

Meanwhile, let me remain un-shocked as I finish this slice of toasted cheese!

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Hugh Southon is a lifelong Iron and the founding editor of ClaretandHugh. He is a national newspaper journalist of many years experience and was Bobby Moore's 'ghost' writer during the great man's lifetime. He describes ClaretandHugh as "the Hammers daily newspaper!"

Follow on Twitter @hughsouthon


  • Chickenrunner says:

    Personally i would fire Carroll out the door if someone is mug enough to offer us decent dough.He is a liabilty.You just know next season he will comeback & within a few games he will probably be crocked again.Sad for the lad but it is a recurring theme.

  • Quickdraw says:

    Spot on Hugh,it’s no investigation needed easy copy for the currant bun. The only new development in the article is your toasted cheese,hope you enjoyed it lol

  • Boys of '66 says:

    The toasted cheese part of the article is about all there is worth commenting on.The Carroll story is indeed just lazy journalism at its best.Btw Hugh watch out for that stringy bit of cheese that always slaps you on the chin as you take a bite.It burns,lol 😀

    • Quickdraw says:

      Yep it was a Welsh rarebit titbit,a nice strong cheddar or Red Leicester should’ve done the trick but maybe there’s a continental exclusive to follow lol

  • Sarith says:

    does this toasted cheese have Worcestershire sauce on it?

  • GazDaHammer says:

    We need carroll next season don’t forget we are in Europe we need all hands on deck!

  • Stuck On 99 Forever! says:

    Lmao,now this is why i come to this site.I get bored of ‘experts’ on other sites or site should i say being such bloody serious baboons.But a bit of ‘Toasted Cheese’ convo,well that is something to really get to grips with 😀

  • Michael Miller says:

    He has been a waste of space – palming him off on Newcastle would be a right result!

    I know Newcastle are in a mess but they’re not mugs!

  • Quickdraw says:

    Breaking news! Apparently the odds on Cheddar have risen as Provoleta,Hohenheim,Manchego and Edam start making ground in the market

  • bubs says:

    We need Carroll are you for real he only plays a dozen games at most and half of them he comes on as sub,
    £10 million and let him go with that we can buy 3 Sakho,then the new man can change the style completely,with Carroll still here there will be the time when hump and lump football will come into play,Sakho and Valencia are good in the air plus Kouyate and the central defenders give us hight when needed,
    My good lady always adds English Mustard to the Cheese first Hugh it gives it that nice kick,but we like it normally at night when we still need something before bed
    Only trouble give you nightmares ( keep seeing Matte rubbing BFS ,s back )

  • mattefumi version 2.0 says:

    Jog on Mr. £15 mil. down the drain… he rested all the time and now that his dad is not here Andy gets alone… poor baby… Run horse, run to Newcastle! lol

  • Quickdraw says:

    The mustard idea sounds umm well mustard bubs I must try it. We’re yet to discover whether it’s mozzarella Matte or not

  • mattefumi version 2.0 says:

    ahahah… here in Italy we have good mozzarella… but I don’t like mustard… lol

    • Quickdraw says:

      Good to know Matte lol,we need to have mustard because our food is so bland but slowly but surely we’re coming around to getting rid of the stable boring be careful what you wish for British taste and have an appetite for something continental

  • bubs says:

    Bit early for food in Italy they are like the Spanish have a late croissant then eat 5 or 6 times through the day and quite late in the everning because ot the Sun
    Cheese on toast not a big thing in Spain they have not got the Cheddar here it’s not the same without,
    Italians are more manly they milk buffalo not little cows,

  • essexclarets says:

    I would even take an offer of the taxi fare to take Nolan out of east london. Let him go anywhere the fancy takes BFS. Maybe the moon would be far enough away??
    listen to the experts & we can buy him back nxt season when we regret what we wished for & are back in the championship.. BFS come back….. plz..!!! Only so we can sack your fat arse, you smug tosser..

  • mattefumi version 2.0 says:

    ahahaha… I love this new broadcast “Culinary Traditions”… Bubs, I don’t eat 5 or 6 times through the day… But you are right, I’ve got a buffalo in my ranch, I called him Samuel… he’s not very smart… lol

  • Quickdraw says:

    Matte there was a rumour you were getting rid of BS (buffalo Samuel) but you should be careful what you wish for,he brings stability to your ranch,sure he gets on with the taller slower animals particularly the cart horses but he’s never brought your ranch to a lower level lol

  • mattefumi version 2.0 says:

    Ahah… Don’t worry Quick, Buffalo Sam is the leader of my ranch… I’m going to buy a stallion called Andy, but rabid dogs and ignorant pigs are welcome… Loool

    • Quickdraw says:

      Haha good news Matte make sure you buy all your new animals through the same agent buffalo Sam will know which one and don’t be swayed with any new ideas for your ranch,have one plan and stick to it no matter what lol

  • bubs says:

    I was not saying you are gready Matte but the Spanish eat a little but quite often,
    Have you got an ignorant pig there called Blatter because the C I A cant find him,
    Don’t buy a animal called Andy the vet bill will cost you your ranch

  • jaybs says:

    Whatever bid is made for Carroll IF any, let him GO! with pleasure, let some other club put up with his constant coverage in the media, one day he should get an award for being Mr Injury!

  • jwood362 says:

    Good I hope he does go, I can’t stand the jumped up streak of ****. He has been a liability since we bought him.
    Free up wages and get shot of him, he has had quite enough of of westham and let’s be hounest we have had next to nothing back!!

  • Tony gore says:

    Yea and I think daddy is on the way there and little noly nolyl suffering from loneliness is hopefully joining them!.

  • Tony gore says:

    And also west ham could ,**(entice””) by offering Newcastle them for FREE ,or pay them.

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