By Gonzo 

As I travelled home from The Molineux Stadium in Wolverhampton, I did so fully expecting my phone to ‘ping’ with the announcement that David Moyes had been relieved of his West Ham duties.

I’m sure the draft is already penned and is festooned with plaltiude’s and clichés. You know the sort of thing . . . . . ‘West Ham United regret to announce that manager David Moyes and the club have parted ways by mutual consent. The board of directors would like to place on record their gratitude for the outstanding work blah, blah, blah’.

Unfortunately the notification never arrived because for some reason unbeknown to me Moysie has managed to retain his position. Despite an atrocious run of form which has culminated in Wolves slam-dunking the Irons into the relegation zone ‘Telflon Dave’ appears to be impervious to the sack.

I’m not entirely sure how bad it needs to get before the manager is jettisoned but evidently one point from the last EIGHT Premier League games is sufficient. It’s not just eight games of course, West Ham have been awful for a year, but forget the statistics, look at the evidence before your own eyes.

We have a woefully slow team who can’t defend or attack as well as the other sides in the division. Forget finding three worse teams than us in the Premier League, there aren’t. There might be one (Everton) but don’t be surprised if the Toffee’s replace their manager before our relegation clash.

West Ham are a team who have forgotten how to score goals and Moyes does not know how to fix it. He’s stuck in a loop, unable to strategize anything different or communicate a new method to the players.

Antonio is a shadow of his former self, Soucek is a good tackler and header of the ball, but the marauding goal-scoring midfielder has long since departed. We have a midfield that can’t pass, strikers who can’t score and wingers who take too long to cross, because they’re on the wrong side of the pitch.

I honestly believe that Moyes and his staff are hoping the old set-play routines will start yielding goals again, or that Cresswell will somehow find the form of two years ago.

There is no evidence that David Moyes will turn things around, it’s purely hope and nostalgia. By any metric, over the past 12 months the team are terrible and the players know it too. The manager believes we’re unlucky and on the cusp of turning results around but he’s mistaken.

We’re a slow and predictable team who give opposition managers nothing to ponder tactically and offer few surprises in terms of the starting line-up or substitutions. Worst of all the players look depressed and unmotivated as can be seen by their poor running statistics and frustrated body language.

West Ham are not an unlucky team as the manager would have us believe. We’re precisely where we deserve to be, and at the moment that’s heading towards the Championship.