By CandH’s Pete Ellis
Happy hunting ground
The boys are back in town!
Yes, West ham went to thier favourite away ground and collected another three points at Selhurst Park.
It’s been a happy hunting ground for us over recent years and with Cresswell making a welcome return, we looked so much more like the team we were last year.
It was an impressive performance from the hammers, up against the 12 men of Palace.
Fortunately, Benetekes penalty had all the accuracy of a Mark Lawrenceson score prediction, and nestled comfortably into the arms of a tubby chap in the leather jacket (was it the bloke that was Kung full kicked by Cantona, we’ll never know…)
I won’t mention the referee, as this is a non swearing environment, but if footage emerged of him sitting in a restaurant talking to an undercover report, I would not be surprised!
In fact, his decisions were the worst seen in English football, since big Sam ordered a steak dianne from a bloke holding a cam corder!
Sakho and James Corden fitness DVD?
We had news that Ayew may be back soon and Sakho too is not that far off a return.
You remember Andre, he the 20 goal a season man we were promised, and Sakho, our previously prolific striker, has been working on his fitness since the back end of August which is impressive, until you realise he’s been using a James Corden fitness dvd.
Andy Carroll however has a few bridges to cross. What that means in terms of return date is basically, close your eyes, and throw a dart into the calender. It’s really about as accurate as West ham ever are with Big andy.
Perhaps a job share with him and Sakho could be worked out? Andy does the home games, Sakho does the away.It may sound daft, but it’s not as daft as giving a guy a contract with another theree years to run when you see more of Halles comet than you do of him.
Andy has missed 43% of the total league games West Ham have had since he has been here.
If his reported wages were cut short by 43%, that would work out to £7548546.
In other words, that’s 2072577 pints of lager, (in case he’s interested) or he could visit the barbers around 597593 times to tend the man bun, or probably the most relevant, 7546546 packs of cotton wool, which andy can wrap himself in when not playing…..
Recognition dawns
Overall though, it’s been a good week. Many have watched Match of the Day for the first time this season, as we did for the first time, recognise the team that played.
Here’s to (hopefully) back to back wins!
COYI!!!!
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