Sick-Note Duo I Antonio Replacements Discounted

The Striker saga at West Ham United has been well documented: Currently standing at -wait for it – 55 acquisitions in the Sullivan / Gold and latterly Sullivan era since 2010, the majority of those brought to lead the line in Claret and Blue have been- well- mediocre at best.

From the supine such as Mido and Benni McCarthy to the sublime Jarrod Bowen who was originally bought as a midfielder as was Marko Arnautovic: Or the occasional success such as Demba Ba (but with a daft contract clause allowing him to leave on a free if we were relegated): They all combine to make the story of West Ham’s pursuit of a successful hit-man pretty entertaining but ultimately uninspiring reading.

Poor judgement and/or poor skills have meant the tale of mediocrity seems never ending. That sorry saga seemed to be on the verge of having a whole new chapter entitled ‘Sick-note Summer 2024’ from a couple of the names regularly rumoured to be joining West Ham this Window.

Fortunately (for West Ham) judgement and fate have conspired in our favour to rule out the two individuals who may be lovely guys but have the fragility of Andy Carroll without the aerial prowess, which has therefore not endeared them to C and H readers.

Firstly Dominic Calvert-Lewin as reported by our own Associate editor Sean Whetstone via his ‘X’ account yesterday, was offered to The Irons by an agent for the huge sum of £37 million – presumably as a Jhon Duran alternative at -pure co-incidence no doubt- the very same price?

Fortunately ‘ huge wage demands of £125,000 a week and the player’s injury record meant the offer was politely declined’. Great – Hopefully finally – one oft-crocked striker down, one to go:

Secondly a headline in The Athletic made grim reading for the player’s advocates (are there any C and H readers who fall into that category? ): It seems Callum Wilson may miss the start of the 2024/5 season with, shock, horror! A back injury. Eddie Howe is quoted as saying the veteran striker needs a small operation.

Let me make it clear I am not happy he is injured, far from it, I wish him a rapid recovery: But this to me is vindication for those of us who felt he was not the kind of transfer target we should be taking aim at: Too old and with obvious injury issues. Now it would seem he is ‘off the West Ham shopping list’ for another transfer window at least.

With a sense of some relief, it seems,  we can address the rumours of new striker recruits with a rejuvenated sense of anticipation as West Ham fans that the ‘runners and riders’ are gradually being whittled down  and those most likely to come through the door at London Stadium will be at least able to walk in under their own steam, unassisted.