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The day Irons defence showed worse judgement than Keith Vaz at a Holiday Inn with his “friend!”

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Off the wall ClaretandHugh blogger PETE ELLIS takes his sideways look at the Hammers week that was!


Payet’s assist and Dianne Abbott’s thong!

Well, Payet turned it on for 30 minutes, and Antonio continued his fine goal scoring form.

The second assist from Payet had more cheek about it than Diane Abbott in a thong (and there goes my dinner….)
Sadly, thereafter, events on and off the pitch took a dramatic turn for the worse.
West Ham’s back four displayed some of the worst decision making since Keith Vaz took a “friend” to a Holiday Inn somewhere in Leicester.
It was no better in the stands, as the West Ham civil war continued, all while Watford fans did whatever they wanted without an eyebrow being raised.
Meanwhile, if you wear claret and blue, and your posterior leaves you seat for anything other than a toilet break, you are hauled off for questioning by the hi-viz Gestapo officers to see the man with the orange baseball cap.
My advice to any Hammers fans is to do a Hillary and stay off your feet.
Even the law is turning us down!
The whole stadium issue is creating a huge divide in the fan base from what my Twitter feed tells me.
People claiming the stadium is wonderful etc, others claiming it’s not a patch on Upton Park
Whatever your opinion, please behave yourselves folks, because Newham council won’t think twice about evicting anti-social tenants from their rented accommodation !!!
The club have met with stadium owners and insisted there’s a police presence at the game, but like most of our transfer targets this summer, thus far the Met Police have turned us down. (Presumably they are waiting for a call from a champions league team?) – Operation “Bacca” is clearly in force
Hopefully with us playing away this week, the players won’t be distracted by the carnage in the stands.
Sound bite Deeney gets it so wrong 
One story that came out was that Troy Deeney claimed the Watford players were so incensed at Payet’s assist, it made them try even harder.
Great sound bite Troy, but I wonder if your manager and fans would be so pleased to hear you and your teammates couldn’t be bothered to put a shift in until Payet did something you clearly feel warrants “pistols at dawn”
Where did he do his media training? at West Ham?)
Speaking of putting a shift in, maybe Slav’s boys could put in a full 90mins for the first time this season and improve everyone’s mood.
Negatives get magnified when the team is doing poorly, as do the positives when they do well.
Let’s hope the team can repeat last seasons result. If not, poor Karren  may need to take an umbrella just in case
No pressure lads, no pressure at all…..

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About Hugh5outhon1895

Hugh Southon is a lifelong Iron and the founding editor of ClaretandHugh. He is a national newspaper journalist of many years experience and was Bobby Moore's 'ghost' writer during the great man's lifetime. He describes ClaretandHugh as "the Hammers daily newspaper!" Follow on Twitter @hughsouthon