Transfer window washout

I wasn’t expecting much, I really wasn’t but when I woke up on the morning of transfer deadline day, (known as Thursday to the rest of the non-football watching world) I was given a glimmer of hope.

The oracle that is the yellow ticker tape on Sky Sports News was indicating that West Ham were conjuring up a bid to sign Everton winger Kevin Mirallas and I thought we needed a winger as cover.

We’d also been told that the club were operating a ‘one in one out’ policy, so following the sales of Feghouli and Snodgrass, I was working on the assumption that a winger would be on the way.

Mirallas might not be Keita Balde – who we’d been linked with at the start of the window but he’s skillful enough, has an eye for goal and is okay.

For some strange reason though, Balde decided to go to Monte Carlo rather than Stratford. So when Everton turned down our initial offer, I was expecting a second bid, a bit of haggling and then for the official site to post pictures of a half naked Mirallas festooned with stickers and wires as he took his medical at Spire Roding. Unfortunately, the Sky Sports banner never updated with news of a second bid – probably because there wasn’t one and possibly not even an initial offer for that matter.

That’s about as exciting as it got, although my pal Gareth pointed out that Jack Wilshere had followed both the clubs official Twitter account and Mark Noble’s so my tail was momentarily wagging again.

We need a central midfielder almost as much as we need another striker because the current mob haven’t been able to pass water this season but alas . . .  . . .  .he never came. Not only did Jack not arrive but he didn’t even create an impression on the mystical yellow ticker tape.

No Jack, no Kevin and certainly no Willy Carvalho who was apparently Slaven Bilic’s number one target on what was a damp and uneventful last few hours of the transfer window.

I didn’t wait for David Gold’s permission to go to bed on this occasion, I went to sleep safe in the knowledge that Marouane Chamakh was a free agent and would still be available in the morning.