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Nuno’s West Ham Had My Bum Squeaking for Absolutely No Reason

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By Kris Gonzo | Senior West Ham Columnist (Follow on X)

In the end, it was very much nothing to see here as West Ham ran out comfortable 3-0 winners against Derby County at the London Stadium.

The fact that many of us found our bums squeaking for much of the second half had as much to do with West Ham fan PTSD under Nuno Espírito Santo as it did with the actual contest itself.

Because make no mistake about it, the Hammers were significantly better than the Rams, who appeared to lack any quality at all.

Whilst many of us West Ham fans might not like Espírito Santo’s tactics, I suspect this game played out almost exactly as he would have liked it to.

Nuno Gets His Kind Of Win

West Ham scored early through a good combination between Bowen, Taty Castellanos and Joël Piroe, with the former Leeds man sticking the ball into the back of the onion bag after just six minutes.

After that, we defended resolutely while still managing to have an attack or two.

And even though we always worry about Nuno parking the bus, Mads Hermansen in goal barely had anything to do.

Perhaps a 3-0 scoreline was slightly flattering in performance terms.

But the truth of the matter is that West Ham’s second and third goals were scored by two of Nuno’s substitutes, Edvin Austbø and Mohamadou Kanté.

So no doubt Nuno will be very pleased with himself and his players.

Kante celebrates after putting the cherry on top to make it 3-0

Back-To-Back Wins Change The Mood

For the club, it’s a massive morale boost and no doubt the training pitch will be a much happier place following back-to-back Championship wins.

That’s quite some turnaround from where we were before the 4-2 victory over Wolves.

There is one concern.

Pablo pulling up with an injury in the warm-up and Taty Castellanos subsequently coming off injured will give Nuno something to think about regarding the composition of our strike force for the next game.

And there isn’t much time to think about it.

West Ham travel to Bolton Wanderers on Tuesday night before returning to the London Stadium to face Wrexham on Friday.

But if the Hammers can go up to Bolton and get another win, we’ll be looking very healthy indeed.

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Kris Gonzo (commonly known to the West Ham community as Gonzo) is the co-founder of Hammers Chat (established 2014) and the lead video content creator and columnist for Claret and Hugh.

With over a decade of professional sports media experience, he is a frequent West Ham United analyst and contributor for Sky Sports News, BBC Football Focus, and BBC Radio 5 Live. He previously served as an official video and content creator for West Ham United FC during the club's tenure at Upton Park and featured in the official documentary commemorating the historic final game at the Boleyn Ground.

A lifelong Hammer since the legendary 10-0 victory over Bury, when he isn't providing daily match analysis on the Hammers Chat YouTube Channel or broadcasting on X (@GONZObignose), he can be found walking his dog and restoring classic pinball machines.

10 comments

  • John Lattimore says:

    Player ratings?

  • West Ham Fan No 32 says:

    We have Ajala who can play as a second striker, Solomon has also played as a no10 Mukasa can play no 10 with Orford dropping back, we aren’t short on options, hopefully the injuries aren’t serious.

  • Steve F says:

    Certainly squeaky bum as Derby had a couple of corners and Kilman controlled the ball with his hand in the box.

    But Pablo… how was he injured in the prematch warmup when he wasn’t in the team announced 85 minutes before the match

    Also Areola was on the teamsheet but the BBC had Herrick on the bench.

    Can see Austbo playing on the right wing and Bowen through the middle if we lose players up front. Mukasa did a good job after Taty came off, shows he can play behind the striker, shame the rest of the team were not on the same wave length, however, could a pass is, if your teammate doesn’t react, its wasted and a goalkick.

    Disappointing to see Ajaja’s name disappear so soon, but great to have Orford back, Nuno started talking to him again ? :):):)

  • DAVID says:

    I agree with Gonzo with his downbeat review. I too was not comfortable,a flukey goal from an poor Derby team looked very much on the cards.
    I believe Nuno’s negative tactics make most of our players play well within themselves. Scarles for one,Nuno doesn’t want him or Veltman bombing up the wing. Orford and Engles both didn’t get to far forward. However both Kante and Austbo could see Derby weren’t creating much and created their own opportunities. I’ve seen enough of this league already and it’s way below the standard I expected. Honestly we should be putting teams to bed well before the 87th minute. There hasn’t been one good team so far. What on earth that formation was at the end I have no clue,so did the extra defenders. Ajala,Landers and Orford will have to be used more. Bowen can’t play every minute either.

    • S says:

      I can’t blame Nuno for keeping his fullbacks a little further back, given the CB pairing we have can switch off at any time. Scarles and Veltman can both have squeaky bum moments, but both have been playing well recently.

  • Jeeps says:

    Never mind what Nuno says this shows why you can’t have a light squad.
    Only played a few games and already fretting over injuries.
    Hope Nuno plays Magassa and Alvarez in cup game and starts to build bridges.

  • pat says:

    Did not realise Pablo had pulled up before the match because i to worried when i saw no forward option on the bench and when taty went off and Piroe blowing out his backside we had nobody we could sub him for to go upfront..where was Ajala? or has that minor tweak of the hamstring put him out of first team availability for now.

  • Hammerdan says:

    If Taty and Pablo were both out for the next game, I would bring Orford back in the starting line up and slide Mukasa forward to sit just behind Piroe, with Kante and Ajala off the bench.

    Also maybe Adama and Austbo get to start the next game.

  • ricardo says:

    And now the first back to back Championship league win. A clean sheet and three goals. Very nicely done by Austbo, his first goal and a fine assist. Hopefully more such nice team performances will follow.

  • Morty says:

    I didn’t see the game, but that’s a very downbeat review of a 3-0 win Gonzo. Have you forgotten the horrors of last season so soon? 😊⚒️⚒️

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