West Ham supporters love debating the club’s greatest-ever XI. In fact, Russ Budden’s excellent YouTube series has explored exactly that subject, gathering opinions from former players, supporters and plenty of familiar faces, myself and Gonzo included.
But here’s a much less discussed question: who makes the worst West Ham XI of all time?
For a bit of fun, I’ve put together my own side and spoken to a few fellow supporters for their input. There are a couple of ground rules. Firstly, I’m only selecting players I’ve actually seen play. Secondly, it’s difficult to find a system that works yet just run with it….. In some cases it’s about expectation versus reality, poor recruitment, or simply players who looked hopelessly out of place in claret and blue.
Manager: Avram Grant
An easy choice to start.
Grant’s reign was characterised by outdated tactics, uninspiring football and a complete lack of charisma. West Ham’s 2010-11 campaign ended in relegation, and at no point did it ever feel like the club had a coherent plan under his leadership.
The nickname tells you everything.
The Northern Ireland international joined from Celtic and became known among supporters as “McKnightmare”. Across 33 appearances he conceded 48 goals and rarely inspired confidence.
Picking a goalkeeper for this team was one of the easiest decisions in the entire exercise.
Honourable Mention: Roberto
Were it not for the limited number of appearances, Roberto might have taken the shirt.
The Spaniard conceded a staggering 21 goals in just 10 appearances, producing some of the most error-strewn displays seen from a Premier League goalkeeper in recent memory.
Right Back: Alvaro Arbeloa
There were tempting alternatives, including the unfortunate Gary Charles, whose West Ham career was ruined by injury.
But Arbeloa gets the nod purely because of the gulf between reputation and reality.
This was a player with over 50 Spain caps who had won virtually everything at Real Madrid. Yet by the time he arrived at West Ham, he looked well past his best. Fitness issues, clashes with Slaven Bilic and poor performances restricted him to just four appearances before retirement.
Left Back: Wayne Quinn
Some younger supporters may not even remember him.
Highly rated earlier in his career at Newcastle, Quinn arrived at West Ham looking to restart a faltering career. Unfortunately, injuries, lack of confidence and years without regular football had already taken their toll.
His spell quickly faded into obscurity and by the age of 28 he had walked away from the professional game altogether.
Centre Back: Gary Breen
The Republic of Ireland international arrived following an impressive 2002 World Cup.
Unfortunately, the player who turned up at Upton Park looked nothing like the one who had shone on the international stage.
Short of pace and lacking physical presence, Breen struggled badly under Glenn Roeder. His nightmare performance during a 6-0 defeat to Manchester United effectively signalled the beginning of the end.
Eighteen appearances felt more than enough.
Centre Back: Roger Johnson
Nicknamed “The Relegator” after suffering successive relegations with Birmingham City and Wolves, Johnson’s loan spell did little to improve that reputation.
A disastrous League Cup semi-final against Manchester City exposed his lack of mobility and positional awareness. Torn apart by Sergio Aguero and Alvaro Negredo, Johnson lasted just six appearances before being returned to Wolves.
Very Unlucky to Miss Out: Ragnvald Soma
Harry Redknapp’s £800,000 signing simply couldn’t cope with Premier League football.
His seven appearances included a 5-0 defeat to Everton and a 7-1 humiliation against Blackburn Rovers. Not exactly a glowing CV.
Midfield: Havard Nordtveit
Another Norwegian, signed from Borussia Monchengladbach on a five-year deal, Nordtveit somehow lasted only one season.
Perhaps he wasn’t helped by being regularly played out of position at right-back, but he never looked comfortable in England. Many supporters still remember him conceding a late penalty against Tottenham which helped turn a 2-1 lead into a painful 3-2 defeat.
Midfield: Alex Kral
This one might seem harsh.
After all, Kral managed just a single minute of Premier League football during his loan spell.
But there was a reason David Moyes never trusted him. His performance against non-league Kidderminster Harriers in the FA Cup was painfully sluggish and entirely off the pace. Any hopes of forcing his way into contention disappeared that afternoon.
Attacking Midfield: Luis Jimenez
Nicknamed “The Wizard”.
Sadly, many West Ham fans concluded he only earned the nickname because he was invisible.
Arriving on loan from Inter Milan, Jimenez never adapted to English football. Lightweight and ineffective, he managed just one goal in 12 appearances before his loan was terminated midway through the season.
Attacking Midfield: Gokhan Tore
Perhaps one of the most frustrating signings on this list. West Ham paid a sizeable loan fee only for injuries to destroy almost the entirety of his stint in East London. Tore made just eight appearances and spent much of his loan period back in Turkey recovering rather than playing.
Striker: Savio Nserko
Few transfers capture the strange recruitment of that era better than Savio.
Recommended by sporting director Nani, West Ham spent around £9 million on the player.
He looked utterly out of his depth. Gianfranco Zola reportedly spent extra time working with him on the basics, while several teammates later suggested he simply wasn’t ready for this level.
He played eleven times for West Ham before embarking on a nomadic career that included spells with 15 different lower-league clubs around Europe.
Striker: Benni McCarthy
Mido pushed him close, but McCarthy gets the final shirt.
Signed by Zola in 2010, the South African arrived carrying significant weight and never looked capable of making an impact. Fourteen appearances yielded zero goals and his stay became a 14-month disappointment before the club agreed a settlement to terminate his contract early.
Agree or disagree? Who would make your worst-ever Hammers XI?
for all the Harry Redknapp lovers out there – note that he was responsible for buying quite a number of the players listed
Song, Titi Camara (those two were bought with the Rio money which makes it worse) Samassi Abou, Margas, Marco Boogers (who apparently he had never actually watched), Radiciou and Dumetriscu
Song and Titi Camara for me. Having both in the team was horrific. I would also add Pablo to the list
Simone Zaza! i actually felt sorry for him
guess there’s no room for Carlos Sanchez since the others are so bad. he was rounder than a football
My own ‘worst’ outfielder – used to hide my face in my hands when he appeared…
Roberto is nailed on for the goalkeeper’s jersey. Couldn’t believe he lasted more than one match, absolutely disastrous. More deserving of the ‘nightmare’ tag than McKnight.
I’d agree, Steve, worst ever, ever, ever.
You forgot Keith Coleman, Alan Wooler and Bertie Utton.
Javier Margass….another player who went AWOL!
Samassi Abou. Absolutely awful player.
Joey Beuchamp, signed from Oxford, soon went to Swindon I think it was, like after a few weeks.
Florin Raduchioiu, Harry couldn’t believe what a fairy he was.
Dumitrescu, went shopping at Harrods when he was supposed to be at a match.
Unbelievable stuff…
Joey Beauchamp. Homesick after signing from Oxford United.
Was it Boogers who tried to snap gary neville in half? If it was then fair play
That’s a tough team to choose.
How can we not include the likes of Sasa Ilic, Pogatetz, Rats, Evra, Nigel Quareshie, Kazan, Davor Suker, Zaza …?
I’d like to offer Marco Boogers as a strong contender…..an attacking player signed with great hope and a good reputation who promptly fled and hid in a caravan rather than play for West Ham.