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Irons don’t PRESS panic button…they hit it like playing bongos and wonder why the world falls apart

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pete 2

By Pete Ellis

Well that was fun wasn’t it.

We out West Hammed ourselves at the Lane, snatching defeat from the jaws of victory in the manner you only see in Roy of the Rovers. (For those under 35, think fifa17 ultimate team).

Yep, we don’t just press the self destruct button, we hit it like we are playing  the bongos and then wonder why the world falls apart around us.

The equaliser by Sloth from the Goonies was bad enough, but then a winner a few seconds later? To top it off Reid gets a red?

That game would be on a footballing bloopers video if they still made them. (How does Danny Baker make his money nowadays?)

Lady Brady’s blooper

As if that capitulation wasn’t bad enough, we have the delightful Lady Brady telling the world that Spurs are jealous of West Ham’s Olympic home, and, I kid you not, we have bragging rights.

Honestly, I do think she trolls hammers fans deliberately.

If you have seen the design for Spurs new home, it’s impressive. No point being dumb and saying it’s not. It looks spectacular.

A bit like how the cgi images of Stratford looked before someone decided to bodge it up in time for the season.

Why Brady chose to come up with this gem a couple of days after being absolutely mugged off at the Lane, only she knows.

Once again, another example of the Hammers hierarchy being right at the cutting edge of the fans mood.

Still, on the bright side, there were no arrests at Stratford this week, and as Karren told us after Stoke, that’s the REAL result…….

I’m being a bit harsh on her perhaps. After all there’s not many women that can oversee “the most successful stadium migration in history” whilst simultaneously be an X factor finalist.

Not content with Lady B’s words of wis-dumb, dear old Santa himself piped up with a nice bit of PR.

YES, David Gold reiterated that 99.9% of the London stadium is full on a match day!

Many fans attend in fancy dress as empty seats but they still count.

Just imagine, that 0.1% could have been achieved if we didn’t life ban anyone that refuses to be a part of the club’s weekly mannequin challenge.
Sit down, shut up etc.

Andy Carroll and Brexit

Andy Carroll hit the news again, as his return has been delayed more than Brexit.  If we had a referendum on whether to get rid or keep Andy it would be more of a landslide.

If we could get him to sign a pay as you play deal, it would be great, although he would be shopping in Poundstretcher and drinking White Lightning most of the time, so probably best to avoid that one big man.

Well, that’s enough from me, for some.daft reason I think we may get something at Man U this week.

Knowing our luck though, it would probably require a strong course of antibiotics.

Anyway, onwards and upwards.

COYI

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Hugh Southon is a lifelong Iron and the founding editor of ClaretandHugh. He is a national newspaper journalist of many years experience and was Bobby Moore's 'ghost' writer during the great man's lifetime. He describes ClaretandHugh as "the Hammers daily newspaper!"

Follow on Twitter @hughsouthon