By Alan Guest
All those in favour say aye,’ or was it ‘All those in favour say I?’ Team or self?
‘There’s no ‘I’ in team,’ the motivators smugly quote.
Well there’s an ‘I’ in side. And there’s ain united.
We are unfortunately living in a ‘look at me’ society, where self is all important. All that matters.
Do we need to redefine the word ‘selfish’? Maybe insert a hyphen. Self-ish?
Self. ‘Self importance’ which was once slung about as an insult is now accepted…. even expected as the norm.
No photograph is worth it’s salt unless the ‘takers’ mug (ugly?) is taking the limelight away from the intended subject. (I too am guilty as charged with an unsuspecting kangaroo)
Self.
The first I’d heard about the battle of the sexes fixture was at West Ham Ladies away cup win against Crystal Palace. A fan website with a vested and invested (time-wise) interest in West Ham Ladies had an inkling to get a team up to play them in a charity match at Rush Green. Even I was asked to partake. Me? A Saga holiday qualifier. What were they thinking? Whoever thought I would relish the thought of being kicked up in the air by Rosie Missen, or having a clash of heads with Hannah Wheeler, or challenging a fifty fifty with Olivia Sammons, was grossly mistaken.
However, before the idea had had time to germinate it was ironically hijacked and equally ironically described as ‘ the brainchild of ….…’
Sour grapes were not on the menu. Our pick-and-mix of nobodies was no match for the delectable (albeit nepotic) gourmet running buffet of D-Z listers. And this feast of football was now to be served up at the Michelin Star rated Upton Park, aka (the recently/historically/romantically ‘entitled’ ) Boleyn Ground, whilst at the same time cocking a snook to the ‘Greasy Spoon’ that was Rush Green .
Where’s the harm? What’s the problem?
As far as I was concerned the wasn’t any. A game against the Ladies in what was in a way Dad’s back garden would have been fun.
For them.
No justification necessary.
The whole thing was shot in the foot by the (self) promotion on social media, the match being touted as ‘The last time to see the stadium if you didn’t have tickets for the Manchester game which was the ‘last time’ Joe Public could see a match there. I’d already seen the people at Upton Park who didn’t have tickets. They were the ones lobbing bottles at the Manchester United team bus. And it wasn’t a charity match anymore, it was thinly disguised as a fundraiser. A free entry fundraiser. Maybe it was an exercise to see how far the young pretender’s muscles would flex. Maybe it was because, like a shark, once they had tasted the blood of playing on the Upton Park pitch they had become insatiable.
Self – Even I was being seduced by the notion. From the ‘you gotta be kidding me!’ I went to offering to go in goal (10 minutes max). History. Sod that. I was dreaming of my Warhol quarter of an hour (minus 5). I’d already come out for a cross (punching it clear) in my sleep.
The first murmurs of unrest doubted the ethos of the fixture, rightly or wrongly, and envisioned it marring the memory of the ceremonial beauty (apart from the bloody awful ‘Rejects’) and historical implication of the official farewell. Dancing over a grave?
Trivially and trivia (lly) all I could think was that if the game did go ahead, it would feature in pub quizzes for years and years to come taking the place of Alvin Martin’s anomaly of a hat trick.
An internet argument ensued.
Internet arguments are pointless. After two or three exchanges they become personal, sexist or racist. Or all three. Internet ‘discussions’ are playground fights at best.
This is the point where the grown ups in charge should have stepped in and made a decision.
They didn’t.
There was a referendum instead.
It was ‘Let the Ladies play’ against ‘ Preserve the men’s place in history.’
Internet polls require no effort, no passion or any deliberation from the voter. Click a box in the time it takes for the next level of Candy Crush to load.
Who would vote?
The likers vote for. The likers ‘friends’ vote for. They’ve been tagged (begged). They don’t know all the ins and outs, but by clicking the thumb(s) up they’ve lended (sic) moral support. Lended. Not given. They expect it back…forget to retweet their retweets at your peril.
The haters vote against. Haters are half glass merchants. Against the grain spoilers. Keyboard crusaders out (in) on a mission. They have an uncanny ability, nay, superpower to know exactly what’s right (never) and what’s wrong (always). Haters are unrelenting. Likers relent. Haters rant like demented Wicked Witches of the West (www.) at their flat screen spittoons, dishing out curses and fatwas to all and sundry. Likers shrug a philosophical ‘Oh well’ and get on with their advocations of cute pet video shorts.
The votes were in and counted and so were the chickens.
It was David (not that one…. or the other one) versus Goliath.’
Apparently David has more friends than Goliath, there was no need for any secret weapons.
This was a victory of Pankhurst proportions… or was it?
Before you could say open top bus…… it was off.
The ‘grown ups’ finally stepped in.
The gods had spoken. The Demi-god had been overruled.
As a staunch supporter of both teams, I was a bit saddened that it had come to this. The hard work that goes into running and maintaining the ladies club, the Chairmen with their generosity and personal hours of devotion and over a hundred players of all ages on the books, was being over shadowed by an unnecessary crass debate.
12,000 votes were cast. It was close. 52% – 48%. Which meant 6,240 voted for the Ladies (average home attendance 50). Surely these voters could show their support by actually going to a (insert swear word out of frustration) game. That would definitely tick the box.
The Ladies team is a butterfly, fluttering free, occasionally resting on the shoulder of the club and not a fly in the ointment in which they were in danger of fast becoming. As a supporter and a reporter I really hope that one day soon the Ladies team will be completely fusion welded to West Ham United Football Club instead of just being Claret and Blu-tacked on the periphery.
Peace.
The views expressed here are those of the blogger and are not necessarily shared by ClaretandHugh
Good stuff.It was a f@ck up,simple as that & anyone who says that no one voted ‘no it shouldn’t be played’ through selfishness are talking sh1t.I have actually listened to grown men moaning like kids that it will spoil the feeling that they were at the last match involving West Ham.Other fans who pathetically said they didnt want anyone to sit in their seat again as they wanted to be the last.How f@cked up are they when the place is going to be a pile of rubble soon anyway.
Its all getting a bit embarrassing with all the last saturday game at Upton park, last cup game at Upton Park, last ever game at Upton Park. On top of that we had the cringey leaving ceremony. For Christ sake knock the place down otherwise we’ll still be doing last ever August games, last ever September games etc.
I voted NO because its time to put an end to it all. This is nothing about ‘I’ or ‘me’ – its all about ‘they’ wanting to be the ‘I’
I imagine most Irons fans who dont use social media sites or forums even know much of the no go ladies match,the furore over it or the Royal Engineers v Upton Park match.They are probably blissfully unaware enjoying their summer break from West Ham lol They have the best idea I suspect with some of the garbage on sites at the moment during the seasons break in proceedings.
A kids tournament has since been played there.Upton Park v Royal Engineers will be played there shortly. Add to that as many games the club can sell at 4 grand a pop and the “no” voters can see that they were not at the last ever game at the Boleyn.We should have allowed the Ladies to play as everybody else seems to be able to.
I went and rubbed myself up and down on Queen shebas seat knowing I’ll be the last one to ever sit on it lol
Let’s face it, despite all these little money-grabbing events agreed by the board, the last proper/official game played by the club was the home win against Man Utd. Anyone who was there will understand that the big farewell was that night, and it will live in our hearts forever. Any subsequent “fixtures” are irrelevant.
Incidentally, I couldn’t even understand what the original article was about, perhaps re-writing it in English might help 😉
Totally agree about the Manure match.For me it will stay in my memory forever as a memorable night which will be never forgotten.Any subsequent matches were irrelevant to me & really had no bearing on how it felt about the last match.Tbh I couldnnt have cared less about other matches after.They were all going to ge insignificant in comparison & if it had given a few other a chance to say bye to the ground fair enough.
I thought it was just me had trouble understanding the whole article haha
Behave yourself GW haha seat sniffer 🙂
No sniffing Rads it was like a water slide on that seat, covered in tears and no idea what the rest was.. Thank God I took a sponge with me to mop it up lol.
Haha,that seat will be priceless one day,worth even more than Queen Victorias commode 🙂
Already thought it was the Queens throne, there was a red ribbon around it and a little message that said” I am the one and only true West Ham fan and whoever shall sit on my seat will be hunted down by my disciples “.
Lol,well after today on there I think anything is possible what with the weird article that appeared about West Ham & transexuals haha
I am still totally befuddled by that piece.I mean what happens if we draw a Russian team in the EL.Are the LGBT folk then going to be disgusted about us playing there.Its a never ending argument.Dont understand why it was on Wetpants & probably wouldnt have been if Dale wasn’t a shirt lifter!
Yeah just read that, anyone else remember the days when it was football talk and how **** the slug and captain fantastic were? Nowadays it’s like a blow by blow account of everything else by people who pretend to know everything but actually know little to **** all lol.
Hahahahaha,you can’t say ‘Shirt Lifter’ Stan,has no one ever told you it’s not PC.
I’m so glad I have never made an account for that place,i just know it would be too tempting to go on a wind up.I must stay tranquil & well behaved these days 🙂
Oh deary me! You mustn’t belittle the prosecco laden post on behalf of the fairer sex by talking about the odour of our beloved plastic seats. The whole world knows the last ‘proper’ game of football was on May 10. Anything and everything else played at the Boleyn Ground after that date is an irrelevance. I know of a corporate ‘do’ there last week when quite good footballers turned out to play for a few thousand quid. So what. We should have three or four ladies matches there before the old place gets pulled down just to make people feel about their liberal selves. Give the monkeys from Regent Park zoo a run out. Who gives two fannies.
Sums it all up pretty well Doughball.I like your style lol
Dough that sums it up perfectly.. How about we all club together and have a proper kick about at the Boleyn? A C+H keepy uppy competition on the pitch not behind the stand , and pay for Matte and his harem of figas to sit on every seat lol.
I see some dude has said that he thinks that article shouldn’t be on there so the mob have descended on him lol.You lads have opened my eyes to a whole new world of West Ham supporters lol.Like a pack of wolves who feast on the lame & wounded.
I was only on there briefly before the axe mysteriously came down on my neck.I remember a guy called Sam on there went up against their princess,next thing I know the sh#t has really hit the fan.All her minions charging at him,swords brandished lol.It was laughable.So I took his corner because what he said was right,but still he got grief all because the princess is never wrong for some of them.Actually thinking about it right now that is probably why I got banned because I took this Sams side.Makes sense now lol
Gobby that site is run by one person and one person alone and defended to the hilt by the disciples and the person that runs the site. But don’t worry it’s the site of choice for those that dare not have an opinion and crave a pat on the head for saying the right thing and an invite to the annual sleepover.