Regular CandH blogger Allen Cummings introduced us to his Hammers mate ‘Vinny’ a couple of weeks back who was worried about the way Mr Pellegrini is handling things at the moment. Vinny is in Benidorm while the boss and lads are in Switzerland and remains an extremely worried man. READ ON!
I’ve been keeping an eye on my neighbour Vinny’s house while he’s away on holiday in Benidorm.
He wanted me to make sure the England flag he’s got hanging out of his bedroom window was still okay. Actually, he wanted me to take it down last Tuesday if we lost to Columbia but it’s alright for another couple of days at least.
Vinny was on the ‘phone to me last night. Not an actual telephone conversation. Vinny never actually calls anyone. Text or WhatsApp every time. He even WhatsApps the barman down at the Legion, to make sure he’s got a pint waiting for him when he walks through the door.
Anyway, Vinny sent me a message because he’s been a bit worried about what’s going on with West Ham while he’s away. Here’s what he said in another letter to Manu:
“You’re the boss, Manu. So it’s your call mate. But I can’t understand why you’ve taken the lads to Switzerland and not Spain for pre-season training. The boys need some current bun on their backs. The old vitamin D treatment. And they need to keep those expensive tans topped up, too.
I mean, Switzerland of all places. In all the pictures I’ve seen of the place it’s covered in snow. It must be freezing out there. They get enough of that kind of weather in our winter. They’ll all probably come back with pneumonia. That’s no good is it? And where you going to find a training pitch that’s not on a slope?
We did enough chasing after the ball last season. The place has got mountains everywhere. Big ones. Little ones. There’s hardly anywhere that’s on the level. Bit like the east end. Haha. That’s a joke. Get it?
It’s a bit dodgy trying to do any running on the snow too. With AC’s luck why would you let him anywhere near anything that’s a bit slippery? Imagine if he was tempted to put on a pair of skis. A disaster waiting to happen.
Not sure about their food either. Toblerone is the national dish aint it? Even that’s in the shape of mountains. Hardly gonna be a balanced diet for the boys is it? Whereas out here in Spain the grub is top notch. Good, wholesome English grub. A decent fry-up for breakfast, s ausages and chips or fish and chips for dinner and an English pint to wash it down with. Magic.
That’s what you need to build them up proper with for the new season. And what about all those cuckoo clocks they’ve got all over the place? Bet the hotel is full of them. My old nan used to have one on her kitchen wall and it made a hell of a din every hour. I stayed there one night and hardly got a wink of sleep. The boys will be up half the night. It’s definitely another no-no for me.
Nah, I think you’ve dropped one there mate. Switzerland aint a proper football country. I mean their top team is named after an insect – Grasshopper. What’s that all about?
Out here in Spain they’ve got proper football team names. A couple of Athleticos, and a REAL Madrid. Bit like us REAL West Ham supporters. You’d definitely had been better off coming to Benidorm with us. The sun’s out all day and me and the lads have made up a decent 5-a-side pitch on the beach for a kickabout.
You could have used that in the mornings, then got stuck into the pool bar in the afternoon. It’s ‘all inclusive’ as well. That would have made it a lot lighter on the two Daves’ pockets. Leave them a bit more dosh to spend in the transfer market. Result.
Anyway mate, I’ve got to go. But I’ll definitely be back for Wycombe Wanderers on the 14th. Hope my new 3XL away shirt’s at home waiting for me. A big shirt for a big season!
COYI
hahaha Allen Cummings, big fan of the office?